What I Want To Do With My Life
I’ve crossed 25 years of existence, in this supposedly one and only, fleeting life that can end at any moment. Life has become easier in the modern age, allowing us to spend our time thinking about what we want to do with it instead of being in survival mode 24/7. Let’s make the most of the privilege we have been given. So that we can make the most of this life. Wait a minute, why should we make the most of this life? Fair question. We know that this is our one and only life that will end someday, any day. Even if life were recurring in some way, we have no memories of our past lives, which makes this life, holistically, our one and only, speaking in terms of memory and experience. Any other life is a brand new life unrelated to this one. So, how should one approach this one and only, fleeting life?
There are many ways to do it. You could live it passively, as I have been all this while for the most part. Reacting to things as they happen and shaping your course accordingly. You let life and events around you dictate your experiences. But that often leads to an undesirable, stagnant and problematic life. There are many, many factors that influence our lives and our experiences, in good and bad ways. If we mostly live passively, our life may not be very colourful, and we could mostly find ourselves in the background of existence, doing things that the core of our being would not want to be doing. Living passively means living bare minimum. It means being pushed around by life and other people. It means always being at the edge of the worst possibilities. At the end of it, your life would amount to nothing. Because it was all boring, haphazard and reactionary. It also means letting your moods, emotions and thoughts control your actions instead of the opposite, which is often needed to do big things. Living passively means to let go of this one and only opportunity of finding yourself, experiencing things and creating as well. This one and only opportunity of existence and exploration. The opposite of which is non-existence – nothing.
Opportunity of existence and exploration? Yes. Let’s not focus on the universe and humanity as a whole, but zoom in on you. How crazy is it for you to exist and be here right now? Two people likely had sex, and then, without any effort of your own, you are born and raised. And, here you are. Ready to experience anything and everything in this theme park called “life and the universe”. Existence. It is as it is. It knows no struggles, pain, joy or pleasure. That’s what we feel. For existence, it is just to be here. Alive, breathing and experiencing. Yes, it’s not in our control. The arrival part, although the departure is if we choose to off ourselves. But why would you if it’s going to happen one day on its own, you don’t know what happens after it, and your life is not terribly, terribly hard? But for a moment, just look past your mental struggles, your dreams, laziness, pain and your regrets and just feel and acknowledge that you are alive, existing and here rather than not. How crazy is it that you are here in this mysterious universe as a human? Don’t close your eyes. Use all your senses. Look at things on your body or outside that you generally don’t notice. Try to listen to all the sounds, also those in the background. What all can you smell? Feel your touch. Our taste buds are overexploited, though, in the modern world. Feel alive and try to understand the craziness of you being in this mysterious universe rather than being nothing.
Now that you are here and understand the craziness of existing and being alive in this mysterious universe. You don’t have to judge any of it as good or bad. Just acknowledge that you exist. And the universe exists. And start from there. Some people like to call it the gift of existence. I don’t. We usually associate gifts with something that fulfills our wants and makes us happy. But existence? Nobody asked for it or wanted it. It was given to us without our consent. And it’s not that it makes us happy in most moments of our lives. Existence is just a one-time ticket given to us without our choice to experience all that there is to experience, the good and the bad, to understand, to seek answers, to love, to face struggles, pain, hardships, to be sad and happy, to see, to create and to live. So, here’s all that we have established so far. We know that we are here and alive. And, we tried living passively with it, but that just meant being pushed around by life, by other things and other people, which leads to an unsatisfactory life. And, life is too precious to be wasted like that because it is our one and only chance to experience being alive, finding ourselves, loving, laughing, hurting, struggling, growing and living. So, the only other way to live it right is to live it actively. We try a bunch of things, find what appeals to us, and direct our lives towards it and have more of it. We experience, see, feel, touch, create and love a vast amount of things and live a whole life. Even if it means periods of doing undesirable things, as they are the stepping stones towards the things we actually desire. Above all to dream, be hopeful, hard working and always live life with the wonder and joy of a child and the awareness and tools of an adult.
So, what do you want to do with this one and only, fleeting life that can end at any moment? What are you going to do with this chance of existence that you’ve been given? I want to fix the financial troubles and limitations that we face due to my family’s bankruptcy 1.5 years ago. I want to become excellent at tech and building things, to leverage that to find problems worth solving and solve them excellently, be it at a job or on my own. To fall in love with the process of it all, but also seek greater wealth with it. So that we (my family and I) can fulfill all our desires – stop surviving paycheck to paycheck or stressing about bills, having a house of our own, having anything we want, going anywhere we want, having control of our time for the most part, as in spending it on doing things that we really value and love. Being surrounded by more friends, family, love and laughter. Doing all that is in my power first to fix and elevate my family and our lives, and then simultaneously that of others beneath me (in the social ladder or Maslow’s hierarchy). Finding answers to the biggest questions of the universe and making humanity and existence better overall. I want to do all of this before I sleep eternally, and that requires overcoming my weaknesses, vices, addictions and laziness. To die without regrets and to die proud of everything that I did and the life that I lived every moment and overall.
To do this well and efficiently, I must build a system for discipline, habits and repeatability without thoughts or motivation. I need to do it right every day. Fixed sleep schedule. Fixed workout period every day, as well as a balanced and controlled diet so that I perform and live at my peak fitness, and my time and life are not disrupted by sickness or disease. Control over my vices, weaknesses, addiction and laziness. And directing my energy towards better, more fulfilling and real things. Dedicating my time at work and beyond towards mastering my skillset in tech, dealing with people and life. Also, taking the time out to have fun periodically. Because all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. To set goals with deadlines, because without a goal, you can’t score and Parkinson’s law. Chasing those goals with everything I’ve got. Picking myself up, taking control of my life and re-aligning my actions with my purpose as soon as I go astray from my goals. Because when we stray away from our principles, we invite chaos in our lives. Making our dreams come true. Celebrating, reflecting and then setting bigger goals. Enjoy and level up. On repeat. That’s the way of life that will make me happy and proud when I’m old and static. It’s okay that 25 years or so have gone by without many accomplishments. And it’s alright that there are so many people my age who’ve already achieved so much more. My journey as I write it begins now, and it’s only going to grow exponentially from here on. I’m not in competition with anyone else but myself. I’m only here to make myself happy, proud and regret-free in everything that I do and choose to pursue. I am my life’s only audience.
So, what are you waiting for? Go and set your first level-up goals with deadlines. Keep it simple and just at the edge of your comfort zone. Chase it with all your might. Celebrate, reflect, repeat. Enjoy your new level and continue to level up.